Okay... I think there´s a small misunderstanding here... :)

We are not roomates. Never have been and never will be. When we moved in together we were a couple, had been for three years. He moved here from another city, because of me. The reason I said we are "officially roomates" was that it is just mainly a financial arrengement.

Last night I asked him if he´s cried over the past week... He didn´t really give me a straight answer (men never admit) but he said that he felt VERY bad, twice. When he heard me cry hysterically in the living room and shower. That somehow made me realise that maybe this time he has finally understood what I am saying. Mainly because I have never acted like that around him. Yeah, I´ve cried and yelled and everything but obviously this time he really understood it was way more serious than anything before.

I told him this is his last chance. There won´t be next one. Something in his eyes told me that he knows that without saying it. I don´t know, something just makes me afraid that he will remember all this for a couple of days and then be like nothing happened. Tho last night he said "this takes time, we can´t expect everything to happen in one day..." he has NEVER said that before. Are they just words? I really hope not, from the bottom of my heart.

We have talked more this past week than in six months together. H says the last time we´ve talked this way was over 4 years ago. That made me think... He is right. I know I am not also the the easiest person in the world. I think I have been blind to my own mistakes and have digged into his too much. I wrote before that I have talked to him about these things for so many times. Those conversations have been over with one talk... this one, has been on for 6 days now.

As for his ex. When you read something, and don´t know what it is really about - you read one line here and another there - it leads only to misunderstandings. That is what happened here. But that is not the reason we are having these conversations. It only showed me what is really going on and if I hadn´t realised it, it would be still continue and nothing would ever change.

How sad is that, really. But, I´m not ready to give up. Neither is he. The question is, does he know how important this is to me...and does he understand any word I´ve said.