Looking at the lack of posts...have I finally gotten myself a life that some bloggers seem to miss? :D Dream on, babe. I don´t mean you, but some might have it like that. ;)

This week´s been kind of busy. I´ve been working, and actually getting paid. Yay. I started on Friday and Saturday. Tuesday and Wednesday I worked from 1pm till 9pm, after being at school from 8am till noon. I wasn´t tired at all. It´s just the clients that wear me out. :D 45 year olds acting like they were 6... Tomorrow my shift begins at 7am and ends at 3pm. I´ve worked there before so the place isn´t new to me. I like it there. The only thing that I`m not very keen on is that I have to work alone. It´s a lot of responsibility. And I think that´s really not the problem, I like the challenge and if I may say, I think I´ve done damn well. ;) It just would be nice to have some other than just the clients to talk to too.

Time has stood still. I honestly don´t know what I´m waiting for anymore. Nothing seems to work anyway. If I could just leave for a while. Away, alone. And think about no one but myself. I´ve got 4 months of school left, it seems like a week ago when I thought 3,5 years of nursing school is a long time. It isn´t really. Needless to say, right now I want that time to stop. I´m not ready. My teacher says it´s normal for students think like that just before graduation. Maybe... On the other hand I just want this to be over. I have no motivation, I only aim to pass the exams and the last 8 weeks of work practise that starts in about a week. I don´t really give a shit what grade I get if I only pass it.

I can feel it coming. The cry, head ache, palpitation, sleepless nights, anxiety... I´ve learned how to handle them. I know when to expect it. Lately I´ve been thinking a lot about grandma. And the way her touch felt the last time she touched me... I´m trying to hold on to something concrete. It´s kind of funny how it stays in my mind. How she touched my ankle and what she said. I know this week I´ve thought more about her because of the stuff we´ve talked about in school... In a way it helps but sometimes it´s just too much. Sometimes I think that if I wish hard enough she´ll come back. Silly me. I still don´t get it that granddad is dead. I´ve had a lot of dreams of him lately, which I didn´t have when grandma died. Don´t know what that means... When I see an old man walking in the street, I think it´s him but then I remember.

I just noticed a few blogs that I have read regularly have vanished. Not found. I guess that wouldn´t be such a bad idea.

This is cute. Check it out.