I feel like I´m watching people from a distance - I don´t feel christmasy at all. A month ago I was excited about getting all the lights etc. on their places. Blah. When I woke up at 11am this morning it was -16´c, the sky was bright, I was glad to get a nice 12 hour sleep and I thought - oh, only a week till Christmas. I haven´t noticed. Where did all the time go? I haven´t done my christmas shopping. I bought a present for dad with my sisters. And I got RM some real nice, if I may say, underwear. I know what she likes. And she´s gonna love those. I got some for myself too, ordered them from Miriale and it´s been a while since I´ve got a pair that good. They feel awesome. All the people getting ready for the holidays and I have no Christmas spirit. I have mixed feelings about all this. Grandma not being with us anymore makes it harder. And it is the reason. Missing her, and her traditions that made my Christmas perfect. My family has always spent the Christmas with them... I guess it´s time to make our own traditions. I and H are going to spent Christmas Eve with my family and go to H´s parents´ the next day. I`m really not happy about going there but it´s important to H...

I had my last day at work yesterday. I learned a lot but the last week, it started to get hmm - not so nice. I´m just glad it´s done now. I can now concentrate on the papers I have write and maybe even relax a little before school begins after new year.