"You raise me up" by Josh Groban.

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I miss grandma. I understand and accept that she´s no longer with us. But a thought of not having her around.. Not being able to talk to her and get a response is something I can´t handle right now. I know I have to move on with my life. And I have, step by step. Just don´t ask me to do it today. There are days when this feels like something I can´t over come. When everything feels too hard. Getting out of bed is too hard, not to mention talking with people..or smile. Why do I feel shame for grieving this much? That I don´t understand. She was "only" a grandma. I don´t think that way but I think others do.

The time has stopped for me. I don´t know how long this will last and I think I don´t need to. Everything has its time. My time hasn´t come yet.