I´ve been trying to cut my computer use to minimum. And if I may say, I think I´ve done a pretty good job. The reason for my tension neck is right here... And I´ve also noticed that if I use the computer right before going to bed, I have troubles falling asleep. And I when I finally fall asleep, I wake up every 30 minutes. I haven´t slept well for a few weeks now. Lately I`ve been having these weird and restless dreams about things that I´ve seen, heard or done earlier that day. I guess it´s because of the stress... I feel less stressed out tho. I don´t feel as bad as I felt a few weeks ago, so I´m just wondering why I´m still like this. I guess it´s not that easy...

When I said earlier about talking to a pro... I did talk. Not anymore... They told me to contact them immediately if I have the need. They suggested that I think about telling my friends about the feelings I`ve had, about them leaving me when I needed them the most etc... Like I´ve said before, I´ve always been too kind. I don´t want to cause any trouble. I don´t want people to get upset... I´ve talked to Annie a little lately. Today she said she´s been thinking about what I´ve said and all, and she feels guilty for not being there for me...or hearing me cry for help. I, in fact, have never told her that I´ve been hurt by HER...only Susanna and Emma. I guess it makes no difference tho. But, I´m glad Annie sees things differently now.

I can´t wait to decorate my home for Christmas! Having a place of my own has given me a whole new meaning for Christmas. We´ve got snow! Everything looked different on the way home today, a lot lighter. I have tomorrow off from school and I need to clean the house. I changed the sheets yesterday and washed loads of laundry, so it will a bit easier tomorrow. I also have to get my sleeping routines back to normal before work practise begins next Monday. :)