My name is DF. And I have an addiction.

-Juana La Virgen- a venezuelan soapopera. It´s on TV five times a week, I´m totally hooked. Watch it, and you´ll know. ;)

I´ve heard it´s normal for a graduating student... I´m sure it has some personal issues involved too but I don´t want to go to work right after school. Maybe I`m scared of the responsibilities and feel like I don´t really know anything about nursing. I´m really not scared, I´m terrified. I know I can do it but... Now that I´ve found what I want to do, I have no interest in anything other. The sad thing is that the school that I applied to, is very hard to get in... My high school diploma wasn´t that good, it´s a shame that I can´t apply with the diploma I´ll get from this school. It sucks. And it´s f-ing stupid. I´m practically a nurse and still kids graduating from high school with a better diploma than me, have better chances getting in. Oh well. It´s not that I don´t want to do anything other... I´m very anxious, to be honest. I can´t wait to show myself that I can do it. I do enjoy what I do, but it´s not something I only want to do for the rest of my life. I mean, the future in health care is taking care of the elderly... I´m not saying I don´t like it, it´s just not my dream. My bachelor´s thesis is done. I can´t believe it. We still have to present it and that´s it. I just realized that the last classes I have are next week and just a few days a little before graduation. I still have the last two big exams left...first one next Friday. And one paper to write. I know, I´ve been lazy this week! Someone should kick me in the butt. Just these last two weeks and then it´s over. I can´ believe it. Can you? :D

I went to the cemetary earlier this week while jogging. I haven´t visited there often. I thought of these past six months or so and how stressfull it´s been. How nice it would´ve been to go to grandma´s and just sit there, relax and talk about stuff - let it all out and then get back to working on my papers and work practise. These are the times that I miss her the most. I´ve come to the point where I´m accepting it, understanding it, believing it but actually realize that I will never see that person again. It´s like big sighs "ohhh no..." and a little sting in my heart. There will never be a time that I wouldn´t want her to be there when something big happens to me..or even something small. I´ve learned to live with it.

Ohh. And I joined Weight Watchers this week. I´ve already lost a lot of weight on my own, many of my clothes are starting to get too big but I thought it would be nice to be in the group... get support etc.

Labor Day is this weekend. I don´t really feel like partying. I guess I´ll go to my parents or my uncle´s for dinner and come home to finish the paper. The sooner the better... my life is such a joy these days.