I´ve never been one of those people who have nightmares after watching horror movies or seeing something terrible on the news. But, after everything that´s been happening lately... You know watching the videos and pictures will shock you and still you just have to watch them. This makes me wonder how sick human mind can be. I´ve seen death and dead people in my work a lot and I´ve never had troubles working it out in my head. I will never forget the first time... Another nurse gave me a ride home, I had to bite my lip etc the whole time and I when I got home and saw H...I didn´t even have time to undress when the tears came. He was very confused, not knowing what I was crying for. I just went straight to bedroom, jumped in bed with all my outdoor clothes on. Heh... It feels funny now but it didn´t at the time. I cried a while and that was it. This picture I talked about earlier..it was taken from Thailand. Children´s bodies piled together. Call me a hypocrite but it made me burst into tears. So cruel, unfair... Unnatural even. Even tho this made me cry, I never thought this would effect me this much. When I go to bed, I start thinking about it. I can´t sleep. And when I finally fall asleep after hours of turning and sighing, I have the weirdest dreams. They are like pictures with no real meaning but still they have some kind of a story. Like the other night, I was trying to evacuate a family from Thailand. But first I had to tell the children that their parents were dead. It made NO sense at all. I remember waking up sweating every time I turned. I guess that has something to do with the cold I´ve managed to catch somewhere! A famous finnish artist is also missing in Thailand. Alont with hs wife and two small children. He gave a face, a symbol for people´s sorrow. Most likely they will not be found alive. Last night was the first night in like forever that I actually fell asleep without thinking that I MUST FALL ASLEEP RIGHT NOW!! I was hanging out with sandman a little after midnight and unfortanately I had to say good bye at 7am. It was time to get my butt out of bed and start the day! It was nice to get back to school. That way I won´t spend my whole doing nothing. It´s epiphany tomorrow. My parents are coming over for dinner. I was thinking of cooking chicken fricassee. I have never cooked for this many. And I even thought I might have taken a bit too big bite. :-) This is the first time someone is actually coming HERE for dinner. Ahh, there´s a first time for everything. ;-) My classmate is coming here today. I´m really tired... I think I still have a little fever. When I asked her to come, I regreted it the second I said it. Oh well...Maybe she won´t stay long. ;-) I better be off and get something to eat before she comes.